1.A Present

Kate: Mom, do you know what I‘m going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot.
Mom: But I‘ve got a nice teapot.
Kate: No, you haven‘t. I‘ve just dropped it.

翻譯：

禮物

凱特：媽媽，你知道我要給你一件什么生日禮物嗎？
媽媽：不知道，寶貝，是什么呀？
凱特：一把漂亮的茶壺。
媽媽：可是我已經有一把漂亮的茶壺了呀。
凱特：不，你沒有了。我剛剛把它給摔了。

2.Secret For a Long Life

A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch（門廊） .

I couldn‘t help noticing how happy you look, she says. What‘s your secret for a long, happy life?

I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise.

Wow, that‘s amazing, says the woman. How old are you?

Twenty-six.

翻譯：

 長壽秘訣

一位女士走向坐在門廊的椅子上搖動的小老頭。

我無意中發現，你是多么幸福，那女士說。你幸福而長壽的秘密是什么？

我每天抽三包煙，每周喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且從來不曾鍛煉。

哦，真神奇，女士說。你高壽？

二十六。