1.Ask your own

Ask Your OwnIt was a cold，raw day at Washington．Champ Clark was discussing the gamins of the cities with an English visitor．The latter expatiated on the wit of the London type of the genius．Clark declared that if the Englishman were to ask any Washington street urchin any question，the urchin would make anaptreply．They sallied forth． “What time is it，Bub？They tell me you can tell time by your nose，”said the visitor to the first newsboy they met． “Ask your own，mister，mine ain‘t run nin’，”was the reply．

翻譯：

問(wèn)問(wèn)你自己

這是華盛頓的一個(gè)陰冷天。錢普·克拉克正和一個(gè)來(lái)訪的英國(guó)人討論城市的流浪兒，英國(guó)人詳細(xì)地?cái)⑹鲋鴤惗厥教觳诺臋C(jī)智。克拉克宣稱，要是對(duì)方向華盛頓街上任何一個(gè)兒童提任何問(wèn)題，那孩子都會(huì)對(duì)答如流。他們便出發(fā)了。 “什么時(shí)候了，小兄弟？人們說(shuō)你能用鼻子報(bào)時(shí)。” 回答是：“先生，問(wèn)問(wèn)你自己的吧，的不在走呢。”

 
2.Dream

The school of agriculture‘s dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. “Why have you chosen this career?” he asked.
“I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father,” the student replied.
“Your father made a million dollars in farming?” echoed the impressed dean.
“No,” replied the applicant. “But he always dreamed of it.

翻譯：

夢(mèng)想

農(nóng)校的招生辦主任在面試一個(gè)上線的學(xué)生，“你為何要選擇這個(gè)職業(yè)？”他問(wèn)。 “我夢(mèng)想以經(jīng)營(yíng)農(nóng)場(chǎng)來(lái)賺一百萬(wàn)元，就像我父親一樣。”這個(gè)學(xué)生回答說(shuō)。 “你父親經(jīng)營(yíng)農(nóng)場(chǎng)賺了一百萬(wàn)元？”主任驚詫地問(wèn)道。
“沒(méi)有，”這位申請(qǐng)人回答道，“他總是夢(mèng)想著賺到這個(gè)數(shù)目。”

 
3.frog

Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, “Now I‘ll show you this frog in my pocket.” He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, “That‘s funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch.”

翻譯：

青蛙

老師正在給學(xué)生上生物課：“現(xiàn)在，我將要給你們看我袋子里的這只青蛙。”接著，他把手伸進(jìn)口袋，卻拿出了一份雞肉三文治。老師滿臉困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一會(huì)兒，說(shuō)道：“真奇怪。我明明記得我已經(jīng)把午飯吃掉了。”

 
4.Wedding or Not

Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but “never boiled over-just simmered.” On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.　　
Upon his return he exclaimed, “Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women – They‘re all widows now!

翻譯：

結(jié)婚還是不結(jié)婚

弗蘭克叔叔七十八歲了，富有而健康。他是個(gè)終生單身漢。他曾追求過(guò)很多女孩，但“從不過(guò)熱—-見(jiàn)好就收”。一天他突發(fā)奇想，決定四處走走，去看看他那些接近一打的舊時(shí)女友。
他回來(lái)即嘆道：“噓！謝天謝地幸虧我沒(méi)娶那些女人中的任何一個(gè)。如今她們都成寡婦了！”