Express mail 

After my wife landed a coveted job offer from DHL, we went out of town to celebrate. While on our trip, she was contacted by the company‘s human resources department with an urgent request to complete and send back her tax forms.

　　”No problem,” she said. “I‘ll FedEx them right over.”

翻譯：

快遞

 在我的妻子得到了那份她期盼已久的DHL工作后，我們出去慶祝。 在路上，DHL的人力資源部給她打來電話，要她火速填好稅單并給他們寄過去。

　　“沒問題，”她說?！拔乙粫吐摪羁爝f寄過去”。

Equal-opportunity

One Friday everyone in our office was in high spirits, and Marshall, a sales rep, was making the rounds, joking and teasing us all. When he stopped in front of a new employee‘s desk, she braced herself. “I hoped I might be spared,” she said.

　　”Oh, you can‘t escape Marshall,” our boss cautioned her. “He‘s an equal-opportunity annoyer.”

翻譯：

——平等機會

一個周五，我們辦公室的所有人都熱情高漲， 銷售代表Marshall在辦公室內四處耍寶，逗我們高興。 當他來到一個新員工的桌子前時，那位新員工是一副嚴陣以待的樣子，說，“我希望我能免了”。

Essence of things

Wondering why my niece, Charlotte, was returning to college to get a master‘s in philosophy, I asked, “What can you do with a degree like that?”

　　”Well,” she explained, “it will qualify me to deal with questions like, ‘What is existence?‘ ‘What is the essence of things?‘ and ‘Do you want fries with that?‘ “

翻譯：

——事物的本質

我想知道侄女Charlotte為什么要回到學校去修哲學碩士學位，于是問她，“你要這種學位做什么？”

　　“呃，”侄女解釋說，“有了這個學位，我就有資格回答象下面的一些問題， ‘什么是存在’， ‘什么是事物的本質’，和 ‘要另外來點薯條嗎’  等等”。

Ethics: Coming Soon

As a new federal employee, I felt a combination of excitement and anxiety about meeting the strict standards of discretion and respect that our government imposes on its workers. Fearful of making a costly mistake, I decided to read up on procedures and standards on the federal Office of Personnel Management web page. I‘m not sure if I was relieved or worried when I clicked on one page and found: “Ethics: Coming Soon!”

翻譯：

——道德(規程)即將推出

作為一名新的聯邦政府雇員，我心情復雜，既興奮又焦慮，因為要達到政府為他們的工作人員定下的嚴格的言行標準并非易事。 害怕犯下會造成重大損失的錯誤，我決定好好讀一下《聯邦辦公室工作人員管理》網頁上面的規程和標準。 當我點開一個頁面時，我不確定我是擔心還是松一下氣，上面寫著：“道德（規程）：即將推出”。