1.One real man

The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely（嚴格地，嚴厲地）.

Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives‘ directions and counsel（勸告，建議） to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.

It‘s good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted（膽小的） dunces（傻瓜） why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.

Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.

翻譯：

一個真正的男子漢

古代有一個國王，他想證明他領土內的男人并非像人們傳說的那樣，受到老婆的管制。他把王國里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告說，哪個男人膽敢不說實話，就會受到嚴厲的懲罰。

然后，他叫所有聽從妻子的命令和意見的男人都走向大廳的左側。所有的男人都站到了左側，只有一個小個子男人站到了右側。

國王說：看到我們國家里還有一個真正的男子漢，真是令人高興。告訴這些膽小的笨蛋，為什么在他們當中只有你一個人站在大廳的右側。

陛下，那人尖聲地回答：因為在我出門之前，我老婆告訴我不要扎堆。

2.What‘s your name?

A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train. He had never seen them before,so he began:My name is Stone, and I‘m even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there‘ll be trouble. Don‘t try any tricks with me, and then we‘ll get on well together

Then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name. Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly, he said, and don‘t forget to call me ‘sir‘.

Each soldier told him his name, unitl he came to the last one. This man remained silent, and so Captain Stone shouted at him, When I ask you a question, answer it! I‘ll ask you again: What‘s you name, soldier?

The soldier was very unhappy, but at last he replied. My name is Stonebreaker, sir. He said nervously.

翻譯：
你叫什么名字？

有一位很嚴厲的軍官在對一群交由他訓練的新兵訓話。他以前從沒見過這群新兵，于是他開始自我介紹：我的名字叫Stone（石頭），事實上，我甚至比石頭更強硬。這就是我為什么要告訴你們我名字的原因。不要試圖對我玩什么花招，這樣我們就能很好相處了。

接著他開始走到每個士兵前面問他們的名字。說大聲點，讓每個人都能聽清楚。另外，不要忘記稱呼我為長官。他說。

每個士兵都對他說了自已的名字。他走到最后一位士兵面前時，這個士兵保持著沉默。于是Stone隊長對他喊叫，當我問你問題的時候，要回答！我再問一遍，你的名字，士兵？

那個新兵很不高興，但最后他回答了。我的名字是Stonebreaker（碎石機），長官。他緊張的說。

 
3.A New Employee

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director‘s office.

What is the meaning of this? the director asked. When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years‘ experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held.

Well, the young man said, in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.

翻譯：

新員工

一個年輕人在被雇用幾個星期后，被叫到人事經理的辦公室。

這是什么意思？經理問，當你申請這份工作時，你告訴我們有五年工作經驗，現在我們發現這其實是你的第一份工作。

嗯，年輕人回答，你們的廣告上說需要找一個有想象力的人嘛。

 
4.The Mean Man‘s Party 　　

The notorious（聲名狼藉的，臭名昭著的） cheap skate（小氣鬼） finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, “Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow（肘部，扶手） . When the door open, push with your foot.”
　　
“Why use my elbow and foot?”
　　
“Well, gosh,” was the reply, “You‘re not coming empty-handed, are you?”

翻譯：

吝嗇鬼的聚會　
　
一個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了后，再用你的腳把門推開。”
　　
“為什么我要用我的肘和腳呢？”

“哦，天啊”（吝嗇鬼）回答說：“你不會空手來的是吧？”