1.Bat Problem

Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, “You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything—-noise, spray, cats—-nothing seems to scare them away.”

　　Another said, “Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated, and they still won’t go away.””

　　The third said, “I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church…haven’t seen one back since!”

翻譯：

蝙蝠的問題

　　三個南部的牧師在一家小餐館里吃午飯。其中的一個說道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法—-噪音、噴霧、貓—-似乎什么都不能把它們趕走。”

　　另外一位說：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經請人把整個地方用煙熏消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走。”

　　第三個牧師說：“我為我那里的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會的一員……從此一只也沒有再回來過。”

2.My Wife Will Exchange Them

　　A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.

　　″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.

　　″Makes no difference ″replied customer.

　　″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.

　　″Any″ he responded.

　　″Size﹖″

　　″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″

翻譯：

　　反正我太太明天會來換的

　　 一位先生走進一家商店要買副手套。

　　“您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問。

　　“沒什么區別。”這位顧客回答。

　　“那您要什么顏色的呢？”售貨員又問。

　　“什么顏色都成。”他回答。

　　“號碼呢？”

　　“您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會來換的。”

3.All Except the Music

A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, “Have you enjoyed yourself today?”
“Oh, yes, miss!” said Sally, “It was lovely. All except the music, that is.”

翻譯：

除了音樂

一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學生多了解一點優秀的古典音樂，就安排了一天下午去聽音樂會。為了使這次活動能給大家留下更深的印象，她請大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回來上汽車的時候，她問小薩莉：“你今天玩得好嗎？”
“噢，好極了，小姐，” 薩莉說，“除了音樂其它都很好。”