The Cemetery Shortcut

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.

Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

“Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath, “You scared us half to death — we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?”

“Those fools!” the old man grumbled. “They misspelled my name!”

翻譯：

為抄近路走墓地

萬圣節派對過后，兩男人圖個樂呵，打算抄近路穿過墓地回家。

走到墓地中央時，他們被從迷霧中傳來的“答、答、答”聲驚嚇到了。

正當兩人害怕得渾身顫抖時，他們看到是個老頭拿著鐵錘和鑿子，在一塊墓石上鑿著什么。

“哇塞，先生，”其中一人喘了口氣說，“你把我們嚇得半死啊，我們還以為遇上鬼了呢！那么晚了你在這里做什么？”

“那幫白癡！”老頭抱怨道，“他們把我名字拼錯啦！”

my capital has been frozen

My cousin always “borrows” money from her older brother‘s piggy bank, which drives him crazy.

One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator.

Inside was this note: “Dear sister, I hope you‘ll understand, but my capital has been frozen.”

翻譯：

我的資產現在已被凍結

我表妹總是從她哥哥的小豬撲滿里“借錢”，她哥哥對此事感到很憤怒。

一天，表妹四處尋找，最后竟然在冰箱里發現了撲滿。

撲滿里有張紙條：“親愛的妹妹，我希望你能夠理解，我的資產現在已被凍結。”

 Understand Him

While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . “Mump umn Kmpfhm,” was all I heard.　　
“Drew,” I scolded, “no one can understand a word you‘re saying. 　　
“He says he wants some ketchup,” my husband said calmly .　　
A woman sitting nearby leaned over and asked, “How in the world did you understand him?” 　　
“I‘m a dentist,” my husband explained.（英語笑話帶翻譯 www.fenghuangtongcheng.cn ）

翻譯：

我懂他的話

在飯店吃飯的時候，我申斥我4歲的兒子，因為他滿嘴食物在說話。“喔、呢”，我聽到的就是這些。 “祖，”我責備道，“沒人明白你在說什么。” 　　
“他說他要一些番茄醬，”我丈夫平靜地說。坐在旁邊的一位婦女靠過來問道：“你究竟如何明白他的話的呢？” “我是牙醫。”我丈夫解釋道。